It's raining, it's pouring... and Blondie was touring". On Tuesday, July 23rd, new wave and pop music fans rejoiced when two of the most enduring and bona fide good-time bands showed up at Jones Beach Theatre in Wantagh: Blondie and the B-52's. I know that it made ME wet... and not just from the excitement! All those cute boys and girls who showed up in their skimpy outfits but neglected to check the weather before they left were in for a big surprise that night. Granted, the tickets said "Rain or Shine"... but this rain was HEAVY! (How heavy was it? Think Anna Nicole Smith.) "Dive Into the Pool" (AKA: "Let's Get Soaking Wet") would have been a good warm-up tune for the show that night. Of course, the concert went on, and everyone got to model their best rain gear and bravely risk their makeup running. Some of the concert-goers didn't dress for the rain, and therefore got soaked-- and you know how T-shirts and shorts fit oh-so-tightly when wet. Talk about eye candy! The moral of the story is: Always bring protection. Anyway, back to the show. The B-52's, accurately decribed by many as "the ultimate party band", gave a crowd-pleasing, hour-long set featuring many of their greatest hits-- including "Roam", "Love Shack", and "Strobe Light". Other songs included lesser-known treasures like "June Bug", "Mesopotamia", and "Lava". The self-styled B-52's, whose first album was released in 1970(!), continue to thrill crowds with their unique mix of distinctive vocals, vivid presentation, and catchy sound-- a mix which has always been completely their own. Fred Schneider, lead male vocalist, was as dynamic and flamboyant as ever. Watching Kate Pierson and Cindy Wilson, the female vocalists of the group, will make you want to run to the nearest thrift shop for some fabulously tacky vintage clothes. The girls both wore their trademark mile-high bouffant wigs, or "B-52's"-- after which the band was named. For an encore, we were treated to the classic party tune "Rock Lobster".

      Blondie's Deborah Harry, now 57, has been a sex symbol, a pop music star, and a celebrated vocalist, actress, and personality since the '70's. Hell, she's even had her image immortalized on a postage stamp in, of all places, the African country of Mali! Spend enough time in Manhattan, and sooner or later, you're bound to run into this New York City gal. She's popped up at events like Wigstock 2001 and, more recently, the 2002 Glammy Awards, the Academy Awards of drag in NYC. Called "the Marilyn Monroe of punk", Ms. Harry introduced the notion that girls of rock and roll could be sexy as well as tough-- a persona that influenced women in music for decades afterward. After all, Debbie Harry was on stage at CBGB's ripping off a wedding gown to the song "Rip Her to Shreds" nearly a decade before Madonna's wedding gown antics at the MTV Awards. She's also dabbled in acting, with her most famous role probably being "Velma Von Tussle" in John Waters' "Hairspray". Most recently she had a cameo as a strip club manager in the gay flick "The Fluffer", now on DVD. Blondie, the group which took on the "girl group" sound of the '60's and synergized it with punk rebellion and '70's sensibilities, has had seven albums of original material since 1977, and many compilations of their greatest hits-- some of which are among the most timeless tunes in American pop music history. I'll make a bet that most of you have "The Best of Blondie" in your collection, on CD or even on (gasp!) cassette or vinyl. That night at Jones Beach, we got to hear classics like "Dreaming", "Call Me", "Hanging on the Telephone", and "One Way or Another", as well as some songs from 1999's "No Exit" like "Maria". We also got to hear a few lesser-known Blondie treasures like "Accidents Never Happen", "Detroit 442", and "Fade Away and Radiate"-- a song which really moved the crowd. Blondie has a new CD called "Camp Funtime" coming out soon, and we were treated to two songs from the future CD: "Diamond Bridge" and "Goldenrod". While the music was great (With a finale of "Rapture" and "Heart of Glass", how could you lose?), Deborah unfortunately didn't connect with the crowd as much as we hoped she would. For whatever reason, her stage presence and vocals were dwarfed by the band, who were absolutely vibrant and sounded great. Was this the result of her partying too much the night before? Worse, Deborah's choice of outfit that night was UNFORGIVEABLE! Squeezed into a too-tight, white, one-piece, short dress with her legendary blonde locks severely pulled back, Ms. Harry could have easily passed for a waitress or, with a hat, an old-style nurse. And sadly, she left that outfit on for the whole show. Caling the fashion police! Keep an eye out for Blondie's new CD. And check out their official website, www.Blondie.net. Another really cool site is www.DeborahHarry.com. Don't go to www.Blondie.com, or you'll be connected with the Blondie and Dagwood cartoon!

     The B-52's had their first paying gig at Max's Kansas City, a legendary Manhattan club (Check out www.MaxsKansasCity.com.), in the '70's. Debbie Harry also worked at Max's as a waitress when she first arrived in New York. Another celebrity who was a staple at Max's Kansas City was Jayne County, the transgendered rock star who was Resident DJ at Max's in the '70's. Today Jayne, who won the "Living Legend Award" at the 2002 Glammys, can often be seen hanging out at The Cock (188 Avenue A at 12th Street. Call [212]946-1871.), one of my favorite Sunday night hotspots. The Cock, in the trendy East Village, calls itself a "rock 'n' sleaze fag bar". Unlike some of the larger dance clubs, where a lot of pretentious types stand, pose, and rip everyone's wardrobe to shreds, The Cock is a stripped-down, no-frills hangout with the focus on individualism. All types of urban trendsters come here for drinks, music, and men-- although the dominant crowd seems to be tattooed young guys in black T-shirts and jeans with the perfunctory piercing and a tad of facial hair. The Cock has a small stage, and occasionally features cabaret acts by local talent such as The Dazzle Dancers (A co-ed performance art group in the spirit of The Cockettes) and drag star Cashetta (voted "Entertainer of the Year" at the Glammys). Although it's pretty quiet during the week at The Cock, on Thursday nights things really heat up. Each night of the week has a different "theme": Thursday it's "No Wave", Friday it's "All Hands on Deck", Saturday it's "Hot Rods", and Sunday, which can be the most crowded night, it's "Sperm", which features famed recording artist and producer DJ Man Parrish. The music is eclectic, to say the least, with '70's classics to underground '80's pop tunes, with some genuinely rare musical oddities and remixes thrown in. There's also a back room where, after about 2 AM, the lights dim real low... which allows the guys to, uhm... socialize. And I ain't sayin' another word. Use your filthy imagination. How do you find The Cock? Look for the giant pink neon rooster in the window. I take no responsibility for waht happens if you roam around town asking "Do you know where I can find 'The Cock'?"

     On the other side of town is XL (357 W. 16th Street btwn 8th and 9th Aves. Call [212]995-1400 for info.), the gorgeous, two-level Chelsea lounge which, with its sleek, glossy decor and stylish lighting (The ceiling is lit up with a soft blue while a slow-moving montage of light passes over.), is about as different from the raw underground feel of The Cock as you can get. Some have called XL, voted "New York's Best Bar" by "HX" Magazine in 2001, an "L.A. style bar". The most stunning feature is the "fish tank urinal". I can't accurately describe it... you gotta see it for yourself! "Sex and the City" filmed an episode of the show at XL, and reportedly this hot spot cost $2.5 million to create-- two anecdotes which the young hot bartenders at XL must be SO tired of hearing over and over again. But believe the hype! XL has shattered the "Monday night taboo"-- the reluctance of some party-goers to go out on Monday nights, most likely due to work responsibilities the next morning or that lingering weekend hangover. XL has done this in part by their "Twisted Cabaret Mondays", which feature two shows nightly-- and there's no cover! The crowd is a mixed batch of Manhattan movers and shakers-- some of the most talented and creative guys you'll meet in Chelsea (or anywhere else!). Everyone looks like a model. Among XL's specialities are a Martini menu with offerings like the "Vanillatini" and the "Melontini". On August 26th, we were treated to two performances by the dazzling Kevin Aviance. This statuesque (over six feet tall), gender-bending African-American recording artist and diva is one of the most original and self-styled performers that New York City has to boast about. Aviance's most well-known songs, "Din Da Da" and "Rhythm Is My Bitch", have become club favorites, but unless you've seen Aviance perform live, you've never really seen him. He twists and moves his flexible frame and incorporates body language and facial expressions into his dynamic performances. For his second act, Aviance-- in a skintight, "ass-less" black one-piece and high heels, performed two jazz-flavored songs before breaking into his current hit, "Alive". When Aviance commented about how often he'd been performing "Alive" lately, a cute but inebriated boy in the audience yelled out something like "What do you expect? It's fucking number one!" And indeed it is... "Alive" has reached #1 on the Billboard Dance charts. Kevin Aviance declined to do his 1995 club hit "Cunty", although he mirthfully commented that he'd do it if all of us contributed an extra $500! But he DID send us off with "Din Da Da", complete with dynamic moves and thunderous applause from XL's excited audience. You MUST see Kevin Aviance live... but in the meantime, check out www.KevinAviance.com. And look for Aviance's second full-length CD, due out later this year. Also, head over to XL... and check out www.XLNewYork.com.

     On Wednesday, August 28th, the Christopher Street bar Ty's (114 Christopher Street btwn Bleeker and Hudson. Call [212]741-9641.) threw an "End of Season" party for its softball team, The Ballbreakers. A neighborhood establishment since 1972 and Village landmark, the staff at Ty's includes bartenders Joel (He's there on Wednesdays, Thursdays, Saturdays, and Sundays.) and Tommy (He's there on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, and occasionally Sundays.) These cute guys work hard to make Ty's one of the most welcoming places in the West Village. Joel, who formed The Ballbreakers, used to live on Long Island and used to DJ at clubs like "Charisma" in Patchogue and "Bobby Central Hotel" in Bohemia. Weekends at Ty's are busy; the fun starts on Thursday, when the bar holds its "Bear Blast"; and the second Tuesday of every month, there's "Firemen's Night", presented by Fireflag/EMS, a gay and lesbian firefighters group. On this night, there were free hot dogs and drink specials. Enero, Catcher for the team, sold 50/50 raffle tickets and tickets for prizes which included official "Ballbreakers" T-shirts, Mets and Yankees tickets, tickets for Six Flags Great Adventure, and gift certificates for Outback Steakhouse and the restaurant Sazerac House. When a very happy female Ballbreaker won the Mets tix, Tommy joked, "Of course-- a lesbian wins the sporting events tickets!" The Grand Prize was a three-night stay in Miami's South Beach with $150 mad money. The Ballbreakers had reason to celebrate: They won their Division and are heading to Montreal for a Tournament. That night, Joel comented, "The majority of our team has never played before... and look at us now!" Throughout the spring and summer, Ty's livens up the Wednesday night doldrums by having their "Softball Nights": post-softball parties. The softball season is over, but Ty's remains one of the friendliest, most laid-back, casual places to meet new friends and possibly more, especially if you're into all-American types and big guys. Ty's next big thing will be their 30th Anniversary Party in October. Stay tuned!

     Gotta go. "The Anna Nicole Smith Show" is on!

JED