JR:  "So New York", your new CD, has some new stuff, some old stuff, some live stuff...
JC:  I love the live stuff.  The live stuff is my favorite. "Stick it In Me", the "live at Squeezebox" track,  is really cooll-- totally over the top.  The thing is, those tracks were just hanging around.  I wanted to get them out.  I was figuring, "Well, they're just hanging around the drawer... I'm sure that people would enjoy hearing these."  They were part of my private collection.  So I just decided to put them out.  I've been in the studio recently to do brand new tracks.  They're still being mixed, some of them.  Some of them are all ready.  We already got a German record deal for a single I did with the She-Wolves, a cover of the Dead Kennedy's "California Uber Alles".  It's an anti-war song.  We wrote it about Arnold Schwartzenegger-- totally over the top, and so insulting!  But really no worse than Conan O'Brien or Jay Leno always does to him.  I feel a little bad about being so mean, but it was fun!
JR: He'll get over it!  Also at CBGB back in February you did a version of the Ramones' "I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend", called "I Wanna Be Your Girlfriend".
JC: Yeah, we just recorded that too.

JR: What's the name of the new CD?
JC:  The CD with "California Uber Alles" and the flipside, "Shrink and Shrivel", is going to be called "Jayne Meets the She-Wolves"-- like "Godzilla Meets Rodan" or "Frankenstein Meets the Werewolf".  It's got a picture of Ah-nuld on it with a big black thing across his eye, and a bodybuilder body, and a bulls-eye on his cock.   It's kind of political, but in a fun way... kind of like "Saturday Night Live" or "Mad" Magazine or something like that.  There's also some upcoming tracks with my new band, the Jayne County Five-- we call it the JC 5-- called "Prostitute With a Parachute", "Surrender Your Gender", and a folk song called "Thouroughly Modern Fucked Up Rita", about this friend of mine who used to do coke and quarts of vodka.  I wrote a song about it-- very amusing!  We're shopping them around. They're really good-- some of the best stuff in a while.   There's no holes barred.  The language is everyday street language... I just let them have it.  So I really don't have any doubts about these tracks at all...  And that's about it on the "track front".

JR: What else is new?
JC: I'm going to Berlin at the end of September, for the First International Punk Congress. I'm gonna perform with a German punk band and I'm also going to be reading from my book.
JR: From "Man Enough to be a Woman"?
JC:  Yeah.  It's four days of punk culture-- books, writing, poetry, music... just a big four day punk festival is what it is.  It's wild-- I can't wait.  I'm getting that wig up, pushing those tits up, putting on my best face...(Laughs)

JR: Is there a scene in New York City that even comes close to capturing the spirit that Max's Kansas City did back in its day?
JC: No.  I wish! The only thing that came kind of close, but was even more outrageous than Max's, was Squeezebox in the early '90's...  in the way that there was a such a mix of people hangin' out.  Squeezebox used to be every Friday at Don Hill's.  They're having their 10 year anniversary/Squeezebox reunion party on May 21st... and I'll be appearing with the Jayne County Five.
JR: Oh, let me write that down..
JC:  Lisa Jackson's gonna do a couple of songs with me too.
JR: Speaking of Lisa Jackson, I noticed how so many of the songs in the beginning of "So New York" are classic Jayne County-style: raw, raucous, and wild ("Fucked By the Devil", "Paranoia Paradise")... but then, in the second half, you have some really-- dare I say-- sweet stuff ("Tomorrow Is Another Day"), and the tracks that you perform with Lisa ("Hey Man", "Don't Bogart That Joint") become more light, more funny...
JC: That was the point.  It's a bipolar CD!  I wanted to pace it like that.

JR: As a DJ, do you have a particular playlist? You've said that you basically play what sounds good, and what the people want to hear.
JC: I do play a lot of what I like, but If I'm playing at a certain type of place, I'll gear it toward the place.  If I play at a lounge, I'll play lounge-type music but I keep up with current stuff.  I'll play a little Beyonce or hip hop or something off the charts.  I like some of that stuff.  I like a little bit of everything, actually.  But most people when they're out and drinking, they want to hear something they're familiar with.  So I make it very familiar and they love it.  If I'm playing at a rock and roll place, I can vary it more, because I know the people there will understand the music-- and I'll play everything from punk to glam to '60's psychadelic garage rock like Nuggett.  I'll throw in some '60's pop stuff like Dusty Springfield, but I'll mix it with Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, The Sex Pistols, Sweet, David Bowie and whatever. But I'm mostly a retro DJ.  My thing is: If it was good once, it's always good.  If it's not good now, it never was good! That's the way I look at it. I don't listen to anything I didn't listen to back then that I still don't think is great.  I still think the Doors are great, I still think Dusty Springfield is great...  It holds up. It really does. And compared to what's going on now, please!  It's like pissing on a wilted petunia.  The radio stations are controlled by homophobic, trans-phobic corporations who don't give a fuck that they play bands just put together by record companies to make money.  If they do take a good band, the first thing they do is water the band down, trying to make it sound like everything else on the fucking airways.  It's all geared to making money.  Even some of the outrageous hip-hop... it's just bland-sounding compared to some other stuff.  They just white-wash everything.  Like Wonder Bread.  It's all about the marketing, and not the music.

JR: Your website, wwwJayneCounty.com, is run by a guy in the UK, right?
JC: Shaun Morris, his name is.  See, I didn't even know nothing about that website at first!  People were saying, "Your website is so great!"  I'd go, "Uhm, OK... Tell me about my website!"  Shaun has been a fantastic supporter, fan, whatever.  Thank God for that site.  I say to people, "Go to the website"... and it's self-explanatory.
JR: Have you met him in person yet?
JC: No!  He just got married... to a woman!  (Laughs) A straight boy who's fascinated with me.  I'm kind of flattered.  But you never know what kind of fans you come up with. They come in every size, shape, sexuality...
JR: ... and country!
JC: And every country... After all, I'm a freak magnet..
JR: As if "freak" was a bad thing! (Laughs)
JC:  No, it's not at all. 

JR: "Man Enough to Be A Woman" was witten back in 1995.  That was almost 10 years ago... enough for a new book!
JC: That will be coming sooner or later.
JR:  What's the most exciting thing that's happened to you since then?
JC: It's a roller-coaster ride, up and down, but it's always kind of like the same roller coaster.  I'm familiar with it!  Recording, DJ-ing, traveling.  Basically that's what it's always been.  The most exciting thing?  I don't know, I can't tell you. I know that the most unexciting thing was... well, I don't want to talk about that... forget it.
JR: Oh, come on...
JC: The World Trade Center thing.  It's like B.C. and A.D...  everything's measured now before and after 9/11, like before and after the birth of Christ. Let's see...what else?  On and off, I've had a few boyfriends.

JR: Is love in the cards for Jayne County again?
JC: Well, let's put it this way... I'm an old maid and I'm happy being an old maid!
JR: Just don't use the word "spinster".  It sounds so... ugly!
JC: If I want it, I can go out and get it "wham, bam, thank you man"... but don't hang around and drive me up the wall!  It's like, I can sit down with a piece of paper and write down the whole synopsis of what will happen, how it's gonna go.  It's like a movie, and I've got the script.  I know where it's going.  It's like a rerun!
JR: The worst thing is when you have someone who wants to just strip away all the glamour and mystery away from the relationship so fast, and before you know it you're sitting across the table from someone at breakfast, looking like shit, with morning crust in your eye and hair all messed up, and you're like "What's left now?" At least when you're dating, you can go home and get washed up and put on a new cute outfit. (Laughs)
JC: That's right!! (Laughs)

JR: So... where were we? (Laughs) If they ever decide to make a movie version of "Man Enough to Be a Woman", who would you want to play you?
JC: I imagine one day they will make a movie.  I think it'd be interesting if Lady Bunny played Wayne, 'cause she is Wayne anyway... and if Courtney played Jayne... 'cause she is Jayne anyway! (Laughs)
JR: Yeah.  Courtney would be good.  She's all fucked up, but at least she can act!  For the last question: Do you ever get tired of hearing yourself referred to as a "living legend"?
JC: Well, now when I here it, I just block it out.
JR: You're still making music and touring.  "Legend" sort of implies what's happened in the past.
JC: I know, it does! I have not stopped doing stuff.  Right at this moment, I'm doing more stuff than I've done in years and years. I'm so positive and full of new energy and everything.  It's like, "Here I come again.  Get out of the way. The bitch is back... AGAIN!"

    Don't say you all weren't warned! Check out www.JayneCounty.com for Jayne's bio, discography, photos, news, and much more!

    For more information about the 2004 Outmusic Awards (OMA's), go to www.Outmusic.com.